Your relationship has seen better days, but is it really time to end your marriage? Such decisions seldom come easily, even when you’ve been mulling over the possibilities for a while.
Before you decide if your marriage is really on life support, consider these questions:
- Is your spouse a source of physical stress? If you can literally feel your blood pressure rise, your shoulders tighten and your jaw clench when your spouse walks through the door, that’s a big sign you may be better off single again.
- Are you trying to provoke your spouse into action? If you are purposefully making your spouse uncomfortable in some way, that’s probably a sign you want out — but are secretly hoping your spouse will hit the breaking point before you make a move.
- Are you constantly trying to conform to your spouse’s expectations? If you can’t be your most authentic self with your spouse, that’s a sure sign that you aren’t with the right person. This is particularly true if your spouse constantly denigrates you or makes you experience self-doubt.
- Do you find yourself looking to social media for support? People tend to reach out on social media to strangers for support when they can’t find enough at home.
- What do you and your spouse still have in common? If the house, the kids and the pets are the only things tying you together, there’s a big gap in the relationship that probably can’t be filled.
- Do you and your spouse still have respect for each other? Many psychologists say that contempt is the biggest marriage killer out there. If you and your spouse dismiss each other’s fears, ideas or goals, that’s a sign that you are no longer in each other’s high regard.
Ultimately, if you no longer feel like you and your spouse are a team and you’ve exhausted your options for counseling, it may be time to seek a divorce. An attorney can help you better understand the steps to take next.