You just proposed. The two of you are in love. You can’t wait to start planning your wedding. Is now the best time to start talking about divorce?

It sounds unthinkable to many couples. They don’t want to consider the mere possibility of divorce. You may worry that your partner would be hurt if you brought up the idea of ending a marriage that hadn’t started yet. Would they tell you that you were already thinking about ending it and so maybe it wasn’t a good idea to get married at all?

But think about other types of contracts, as a business partnership. Two partners who agree to open a company together are going to create a legal agreement, and they very well may say what their plan is if one of them wants to leave the company. They don’t feel insulted by this at all. They just know it’s realistic that they may not work together forever, so they want to have a plan in place. 

This is the same way that many couples use prenups. They just want to talk about the possibility of divorce, knowing how common it is, and they want to create a legal plan. It doesn’t mean they already want to get married any more than those business partners already want to close down the business. It doesn’t mean they’re not in love or excited to get married. They just want to be ready for the future. 

When you look at it this way, it’s wise to consider divorce early on in a relationship. You also need to know what legal rights you have if the marriage does end and what constitutes a fair split. An experienced advocate can help guide you to a solution that’s workable.